Have you ever had the blahs? I am, unfortunately, perhaps more familiar with them than I would care to admit.
This afternoon we took a trip to a park a few blocks away. It's a tiny little thing and hardly any kids are ever there. In fact, I once talked with another parent--the
only other parent I've ever seen there--who said he and his girls call it their "Secret Park." Sometime after I told Michael that story, we started calling it that, too. It just seems so appropriate.
When we struck out on our walk, I had no anticipation of getting over my blahs. I set out simply because my muscles were crying for a good, exhausting stretch and I had missed my workout earlier in the day. While Michael pushed Laila in the stroller, I would run for a bit, circle back to them, and run a little more. When we got to the park, Michael took Laila to play while I went on a longer jog. As my lungs began to burn, I drank in deep swells of sweet spring air. I gulped it like water in the desert, and it filled me up completely. I took in the scenery as my heart absolutely pounded in my chest--that beautifully steady
thump-thump, thump-thump. I remembered
I love to be alive.
When I got back to the Secret Park, Mike and Laila were making their way to the swings. Now I must confess that the swings are as much my favorite now as they were when I was in the fourth grade. As Laila and I swung together, I found myself laughing and squealing even more than
she was. Feeling the wind rush through my hair and looking up at oak trees so large and so old that God Himself must have planted them before his seventh day's rest, I remembered not only just how tiny I am on this Earth, but also how great is His love for me. I could not help but think of the verse
He died for us so that, whether asleep or awake, we may live together with him.
1 Thessalonians 5:10 (emphasis mine)
and also of Jesus' words in John 10:10
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Jesus' desire for me to is have life, and have it to the
full--to truly, truly live. The whole point of his death was life. So often I find myself simply making it through my current situation and moving on to the next thing rather than truly living and being. Going through life that way is not fulfilling! Unfortulately, I have no deep, spiritual thoughts on this or a "Five Steps" program to better living. I have instead an earnest desire to live differently myself. The only thing I
know is that I cannot live--truly
live life to its full--without Jesus at its center. He is the source. He alone can sustain me.
We swung until it was dark enough that I expected my mom to call me home any second, and we finished the day with bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream.
What an unexpectedly wonderful ending to such an average day. I left home with the blahs and returned with sore muscles and a happy heart.